Posted by: DirtyHarry ()
Date: June 10, 2008 01:26PM

How do you conqueror a womens heart? The answer is simple – by cooking. And if some of you guys doubt that, then just ask the girls, and I am confident that they will agree with me. As Robert Rodriguez says (and thanl you for showing me that clip Hallali) ”not knowing how to cook, is like not knowing how to fuck”.

In a simple mission to cook a simple but good dish I invented a dish that I called ”Pasta ala DirtyHarry”. I needed a dish that didnt take long to cook, so I got more time to conquerorgame, and I needed a dish that would keep my girlfriend satisfied while I play conquerorgame.

500 g of chicken breast meat
a lot of spinach leaves
¼ cream (minimum 18%)
Nugmeg powder
Good pasta – fresh if possible

First you clean the spinach, cut the chicken in small pieches(the same size as the pasta) Put some olive oil in pan, cook the chicken until it is tender - be careful not to give it too much, otherwise it will be dry. taste with salt and pepper. When it is tender, add the spinach. turn the leaves a couple of times. Then add the cream, let it cook, and then turn down the heat. add some nutmeg powder and taste with salt and pepper. Add the boiled pasta (every idiot should be able to follow the instructions on the package). and then the dish should be ready - good appetite.

So Hallali, now I expect you to post your conquerordish. - remember simple and fast - but remember to add passion.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/10/2008 01:27PM by DirtyHarry.

Attachments: Billede077.jpg (94.6 KB)  
Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: jenny ()
Date: June 10, 2008 02:25PM

wow harry i am thoroghly impressed, here is my conqueror dish mac and cheese wohoo

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: Keira ()
Date: June 10, 2008 02:38PM

Looks a healthy dish...I would give it 8/10
Though might i point out I am veggie , should any of you wish to make a note of that ;-)
The presentation of the meal I can only give 5/10. It needed a sprig of parsley on top maybe ,something to lift it ....and certainly a glass of red wine beside it would have scored big points.

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: neo ()
Date: June 10, 2008 02:39PM


You are really the only one who post a cooking recipe in the message board of a killing war game!!

Keep ur nice spirit and thanks for this cooking tip.

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: DirtyHarry ()
Date: June 11, 2008 03:38PM

”From Napoli to Macedonia”

With this dish you should be garantied to get laid, and if it fails then you got some serious issues, that I can’t help you with. I can’t remember where and when I learned to make this dish, so I didn’t had any name for it. In the spirit of war and conquerorgame I chose to call it ”From Napoli to Macedonia”.

First you make a marinade consisting of a lot of olive oil (do not be cheap) pressed garlic, fresh rosemary, and a bit white balsamico vinegar. In that marinade you put the veal. Cover it and put it in the fridge.

Then you start preparing your vegetables – clean the fennel and the red onion and slice them in smaller pieces. Clean the rucola salad – and make sure you get all the dirt off. When you have all vegetables ready you start warming up a pan. Then fry the meat on the pan – don’t fry it through(it all depends on how thick the meat is, so I cant say so and so many minutes – judge yourself) take the meat off and wrap it in to some tin foil, and put it aside. (when wrapped in the foil it would still be warm and it will cook finish, while you make the rest of the dish)

Now you take the fennel and the red onion and put it in the pan, that you used for the meat. Give it 2 minutes, and then add the cream and let it cook for a couple of minutes. Add some more rosemary. Taste with salt and pepper. Now you add the boiled linguine pasta (follow the instruction on the package) and stir it in, then take the rucola and add that. Put the pasta on a dish, slice the meat and decorate the plate, and then the dish are ready.

Easy to make, and always a sure success.


400 g of veal steak/fillets - you can use lamb, if you have some.
Fresh rosemary
Olive oil
2 pieces of garlic
White Balsamico vinegar.
1 Fennel
1 Red Onion (If you don’t have a red, you can use a normal onion.
¼ l cream. (minimum 18%)
Salt and pepper
250 g Linguine pasta
150 g Wild rucola salad.

NB: Also Keira kan make this dish without the meat. I followed some of your advice and included the wine on the picture - a 2005 Ripasso from Italy. Decorating a plate with parsley I dont believe in - I think both dishes are colorfull just the way they are.

Attachments: Billede080.jpg (348.3 KB)  
Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: jenny ()
Date: June 11, 2008 03:58PM

wow who would have thought harry was so refined....maybe one day i will use these recipes ofr my fiance....MAYBE, what the heck is fennel

i think i will be hopeless in this strand

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: DirtyHarry ()
Date: June 11, 2008 04:04PM

Just try it - its easy to make. A fennel is a vegetable - here is the link to wikipedia [] I have also attached a picture of the ingredients I used to make it.

Attachments: Billede084.jpg (397.1 KB)  
Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: Captain Planet ()
Date: June 11, 2008 05:21PM

I make girls bowls of cereal for breakfast, if you know what I'm sayin? Hoo yeah, who's yo daddy!

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: DirtyHarry ()
Date: June 12, 2008 09:20AM

Captain Planet Wrote:
> I make girls bowls of cereal for breakfast, if you
> know what I'm sayin? Hoo yeah, who's yo daddy!

Captain, Dear Captain

After having made a good meal for a girl, she would Definately make breakfast for you the morning after ;-).

So practice that Hungarian Gullash of yours.

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: Perfect ()
Date: June 12, 2008 10:06AM

Favorite thing to cook:
sautee some butter ,fresh chopped or sliced garlic (for gods sake dont crush it)
little olive oil and some fine chopped red onion.
Throw in some peeled / deveined shrimp (16/20's) cook for a little while.
Add a little dry white wine, or even champagne. Ignite.
add crushed tomatoes with some of the juice.
basil.oregano.salt.pepper. cut off the heat throw in alot of grated parmesan and cover it (the heat from the pan should melt it)
put over pasta of choice.

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: -RIPPE- ()
Date: June 12, 2008 12:11PM

people who eat shrimps could also eat cockroaches.

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: Keira ()
Date: June 12, 2008 12:16PM

"people who eat shrimps could also eat cockroaches."

If that isn't a 1 v 1 challenge to the death Perfect I don't know what is !!!

Love the choice of wine Harry...... got class written all over it :-)
I now only have to worry about your table manners .

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: Perfect ()
Date: June 12, 2008 01:29PM


lobster meat,sautee with garlic,white wine,butter,lemon
add GOOD whiskey
deglaze pan
add cream
pour over mash potatoes and pork cut off choice (preferably loin)

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: -RIPPE- ()
Date: June 13, 2008 09:54AM

people who use crack could also use cockroaches.

why dont you post how to cook lsd or some tight dog dumplings?

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: hallali ()
Date: June 13, 2008 10:01AM

This thread takes a strange turn...

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: tinydancer ()
Date: June 13, 2008 04:35PM

lesson of the day:

dont try to make harrys recipes of 90 degree days when the Airconditioning is on.... ur housemates will be mad

ps harry u make me seem smarter lol im becoming all domesticated wohoooo

who would of thought u could get all this from a computer game

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: tinydancer ()
Date: June 13, 2008 05:38PM

ps this is jenny i keep signing on as tiydancer somehow it is set as defualt at my home computer???

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: DirtyHarry ()
Date: June 13, 2008 08:05PM

How did it turn out? as succesful as the last?

Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: hallali ()
Date: June 15, 2008 05:06AM

After reading about how to conquer a womans heart, let me tell you something about conquering mens heart. Ok we all know sex as well acknowledged and proven method, but what to do when you are not in the mood? Try cooking!

When it comes to cooking, my general experience, especially for a bunch of hungry men, plain fare works best. Not this lofty lobster shrimps stuff but something to fill their stomach, warm their hearts and remind them of mama and granny (keyword here: "remind" not to be mistaken for "seen as" or you will find yourself cleaning up for them).

I really thought about which recipe to post here, the choices where Schweinshaxe (knuckle of the pork), a german treat, well known from Oktoberfest with tender meat and crispy skin all over, not so often done at home, or Rinderrouladen a classic german sunday family meal, easy to do and always liked.

So what we are going to cook today is...Rinderroulade with red cabbage and Semmelknödel (the classical german side dishes).

I never wrote any recipe so excuses in advance. I think you will get the point, but meassurements can be wrong.

Rinderrouladen (rolled, filled beef):

4 Rouladen
12 slices breakfast bacon
about 4-5 pickled cucumbers, quartered, so you got about 10 cm long stripes
some onions cut in half rings
stalt and pepper
some tooth picks or kitchen yarn to fix it
1 extra onion chopped in large pieces and soup vegetables (one carrot, some leek, celery and a sprig of parsley, usually sold as ready bundle), cleaned and cut in large pieces

The beef for the Rouladen usually is cut from a really big chunk of shoulder or round of the beef. When you go to the butcher here in Germany, he knows what you want, when you say 4 Rouladen. It is a thin (8mm), rather large steak about 12 x 30 cm.

Take one roulade, place it in front of you and salt and pepper it. Spread mustard thinly over one side and place the bacon over the mustard, so you have one thin layer of bacon on the meat. On the bacon put some onion half rings and every 7 cm one cucumber stripe. So far so easy. Now the somewhat difficult part. Flap the longer sides about 1-2- cm to the middle and start rolling the roulade up from the shorter end. Look out everything stays in the roulade and fix the end with some tooth picks or the yarn. Prepare all the rouladen.

Take a big pot, heat some spoons of neutral oil, let it become really hot and roast the rouladen shortly to become brown, it isn´t too bad when the bottom of the pot becomes dark brown, it gives flavour, but it shouldn´t be really burnt.
During the last few minutes put in the extra onion and the soup vegetables. Let them roast for some minutes too then put some water (about 500ml), scratch at the bottom to get the flavours off, and let everything cook for about 1 hour or more till tender maybe add some water from time to time.

Take out the rouladen and put the sauce through a sieve to hold back the vegetables. After pressing the vegetables gently, throw them away. Put the sauce back to the pot.

Mix 2 tablespoons of cornstarch with a cup of cold water. Bring the sauce to boil. Now add TEAspoon (!) for teaspoon of the starch-water-mix till the sauce becomes as thick as you like it. Never put too much of it into the sauce or you will get glue, just be patient and do it spoon after spoon. Put back the rouladen into the sauce and voilà : Guten Appetit.

Some general remarks: This dish is very good natured. If you take some mustard more or some onion less, it doesn´t mind. Also cooking it longer doesn´t ruin it. Some add to the sauce red wine or tomatos, but also just water without the vegetables would be fine.


Re: Conquerorcookbook
Posted by: hallali ()
Date: June 15, 2008 05:52AM

Ok enough already? But we haven´t the side dishes yet!

Rotkohl (red cabbage)

about 1kg red cabbage, finely cut in stripes
Oil or butter or fat from the roast you are doing (duck, goose, pork)
2 apples peeled and finely cut
1 onion finely chopped
1-1 bay leaves
some cloves
1-2 tablespoons vinegar
about 125 ml water

Take a tablespoon of butter or 1-2 tablespoons of neutral oil, cook the onion till tender but not brown. Put in the cabbage, the apple, the spices and seasoning, and the water. Let it cook till tender and season to taste with additional salt sugar and vinegar.

It should be a sweet-sour fruity mix. I like it with some little bite left, but you can also eat it really tender. Be careful with the cloves, can be nasty, when you bite on them, some people pierce them on an additional small onion to get them out more easy.


2 onions finely chopped, roast in some butter till tender
8 old and dry german buns (Brötchen), you can also take french baguette, but no toast
some lukewarm milk about 250ml with a tbl.spoon of melted butter
4 eggs
some finely chopped parsley

Cut the buns into 1 cm large cubes and put them into a bowl add the milk with the melted butter, the eggs, the onions, the parsley and season with salt. Let it stand for 5 min and knead it into a dough. Form some medium peach sized balls out of it. Bring a large pot with salted water to simmer (shortly below boiling) and let them cook till done (about 15 min). Be careful water shouldn´t boil, just a bubble now and then.

So this is somewhat tricky. Don´t put too much liquid in the beginning into the cut buns, better leave some rest so you can better control the texture. It should become a firm dough. You can add 1 tblspoon flour when it is too moist. Some add some grind nutmeg, this is very nice. Put rather somewhat more salt then less into the dough.

All this above is the gold standard when you really want to impress your beloved.
For everyday eating you can also use ready-made red cabbage (for ex. Kühne Apfelrotkohl, my favourite, tastes almost the same) and noodles (for ex. Spätzle, some german noodles with eggs in the dough)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/15/2008 05:53AM by hallali.

Attachments: DSC00949.JPG (296.4 KB)  
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